A Friend in Need...

After eight long months of having a bed downstairs for David, we have returned our home to its pre-cancer state! Some may remember that with David's hospitalization last July when I called 911 due to his lack of responsiveness, the therapist at the hospital refused to write an order for a hospital bed, saying "in her opinion," he didn't need one! Ugh! I was NOT happy! Embarrassingly, he had been alternating sleeping primarily on our family room couch and in his recliner for probably six weeks prior to that because he didn't have the energy to climb the stairs at night to our room. Because we KNEW he needed to have a bed downstairs, I called a dear friend to ask if we could borrow a twin bed I knew she had in a guest room. Without hesitation, she said, "Yes!" so Taylor and Jeff went to her home to disassemble it, bring it to our home, and reassemble it for their dad. What a necessity and a blessing it turned out to be!

Today, we took the bed back to her, and as I was thanking her for her generosity and immediate response to our need, she said, "I'd give you everything in my house if I thought it would help!" At that, I said, "I know you would; that's the kind of friend you are." 

How many of us are lucky enough to have friends like that? I honestly hope that each of you can think of at least one person who would say the same to you. If not, I hope you ARE that friend! I certainly hope I am as well! 

And the quote? It 100% is about someone I've known since I was in 7th grade (you know who you are)! How blessed I am, however, to have SO many friends who have stepped up and stepped in to cover us through each of our journeys! God PROVIDES, y'all! He doesn't leave us or forsake us in our times of need. 

Among My Mother's Legacies

Our daughter turned 40 years old on Friday, February 10, the day David's father would have turned 100. (For those who didn't do the math quickly, she was born on her Grandfather Clark's 60th birthday!) I have to admit that when the doctor told us he would be delivering her via c-section on that date, it didn't immediately register with me that it was Rob's (GrandDaddy's) birthday, but the minute we told David's parents of the scheduled date, his mama's joy was evident and is something I will treasure always. 

Granddaddy and Grandma Clark, being the selfless people they were, came to our house to stay with Taylor while we checked into the hospital for Blair's delivery. By the way, she was going to be named "Blair" whether a boy or girl because that was my grandmother Shaw's maiden name. Taylor bore David's grandmother's maiden name, so we had decided to use Blair either way. I honestly can't remember what the boy's "other" name would have been (Christian maybe?), but for a girl, we had decided on "Virginia Blair." My mother had been diagnosed with colon cancer about three years earlier, and using her name as the first name just felt right. Even though she was struggling with her health and getting out was difficult, my brother, Bill, brought her to the hospital to await the arrival of our second child, my mother's sixth grandchild. 

Remember, we didn't know the gender of our babies prior to delivery; in fact, I was so convinced I'd be having another boy that I asked the doctor if he was "sure" the baby was a girl. His response? "Yep, we're pretty sure about these things!" 🤣 While I was in recovery, David had the pleasure of telling her that her granddaughter had arrived and shared her name. My mother only lived eight more months after that, but I'd like to think knowing she had a granddaughter with her name made those months especially sweet. To be fair, her other granddaughter - my brother Gordon's daughter, Morgan - has my mother's maiden name. To say my mother was very loved is an understatement!

We brought Blair home on Valentine's Day, 1983, and within the first few weeks, my mother asked me to take her to a doll shop on the square in Marietta. She had already given her a Madame Alexander doll, "Huggums," when she was born, but it was important to her that we go to this particular shop. I don't even remember the name of the shop now, but they sold all types of beautiful dolls, and my mother picked out a set of boy/girl twin dolls that were about the size of toddlers she wanted Blair to have. Of course she didn't get them for a few years, but I'm sure my mother was smiling the Christmas Blair received them. My mother had strong opinions about little girls having dolls; in fact, when my mother became a grandmother to a little girl (my niece), she said to me, “Every little girl needs a Madame Alexander doll.” Thus, began the tradition in our family of giving newborn baby girls a Baby Huggums. I have continued it with my own granddaughters, Jordan, Emma, Francesca, and Caroline, my "bonus daughter's" daughter. I love family traditions, and I love sharing part of my mother's legacy with each of my granddaughters. (I'm embarrassed to say I don't know what her "boy" baby gift was, but it ALWAYS included beautiful hand-made receiving blankets.) While my mother was very much a "girls get dolls, and boys have trucks" kind of woman, there was also a time before she became ill that she thought her grandsons should have a doll, too, and got each of them an anatomically correct baby boy doll, a Baby Brother Tender Love by Mattel! Yes, my nephews and my son each had a doll! She said boys needed to know how to take care of babies, too; yeah, she was ahead of her time!

Having my second child turn 40 has definitely caused me to pause and reflect on the legacy I want to leave my own children and grandchildren. It makes me think of the Nidole Nordeman song, "Legacy." I've written about it before but it really resonates with me, especially this part:

We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world.

I want to leave a legacy,
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to you enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy.

Making sure a child receives a particular doll or blanket isn't exactly leaving a legacy, but I pray that the love and the message it carries about family and traditions imparts a truth that may take years for them to understand. Family matters. Traditions matter. Faith matters. Above all, raising a child in the "way they should go" matters above all else. I'm not sure I hit the mark perfectly, but I continue to pray. Won't you join me in prayers for the next generations?

There's Light at the end of the Tunnel!

 

It's been about a year since our cancer journey began with David. I say, "Our," because it has definitely been one that has affected each of us in the immediate family and many beyond our little huddle. 

With the conclusion of the chemo treatments in June, our prayer was that the next news we received would be that he was cancer-free; that wasn't the case, however. Although we learned in August that his scans showed the cancer was in remission, we also learned why David's health had continued to decline. For those who read my posts, you probably know that due to his compromised immune system (likely due to his inability to eat), he had an abscess in his colon that ruptured and caused a fistula to his bladder which ultimately led to sepsis. Ugh! The procedure to repair didn't go exactly as planned, so here we are - David has been living with a colostomy, aggravated by a softball size hernia that developed in the fall for the past several months. He's been a trooper through it all, but the whole situation has taken a toll on each of us, most significantly David. To those who have lived for years with any type stoma, I applaud you. I don't mean that in a small way, either; I know that the reason you have one is likely to save your life. 

Well, we have good news to share! David had another PET scan right after the first of the year, and he is STILL cancer free, which means he has now been over six months free of that horrid disease! I could tell he was anxious prior to our meeting with his oncologist last week, but hearing the news that there were no signs of cancerous growth lifted his spirits immeasurably! He will continue to be seen by the oncologist every three months for the remainder of this year, but unless he has symptoms again, there will be no more scans. Prayer works, y'all! Thank you, thank you, thank you to each of you who have spared even one second of your time to offer up a prayer on his behalf; we will continue to thank you and to praise our merciful God for David's improved health!

So what next? Honestly, we're not 100% sure, but we do know that on Tuesday, he will check into Northside for hernia repair and colostomy reversal surgery. His expected stay is from three to five days with approximately six weeks to full recovery. We are both looking forward to a return to normalcy even if that means redefining "normal." We have plans to make a trip to Cooperstown in June for a baseball tournament with our grandson and to Isle of Palms in July for our family vacation which makes us incredibly hopeful that we will make those plans a reality. We're even talking about slipping in a little beach trip before June if at all possible. Oh my, what a difference a year makes! 

How can you help? Keep up the prayers, hang on for the ride, and look forward with us as we approach the end of what has been a very dark tunnel. I think a see a bright light as we're rounding the bend!

“You, LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.”
- Psalm 18:28

  

New Beginnings

"...every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end" - Semisonic

At the beginning of 2022, as with the beginning of most new years, we had no idea what the year would bring, but wow, were we thrown for a loop! With David's cancer diagnosis early in 2022, we did a lot of "processing." With his treatment and devastating side effects, we processed even more.

As the summer of 2022 came to a close, we faced the reality that although his cancer was in remission (praise God!), he was faced with a future filled with uncertainties, primarily because of the complications cancer caused in his body. Although we were very private at the time, many of you know that as a result of his weakened immune system and the resulting surgery due to the abscess in his colon, he has lived with a colostomy for the past several months...not exactly the outcome we had hoped for when he had his "corrective" surgery. Yes, life throws you curves, but you DO learn to swerve! We've learned to zig-zag quite a bit these past few months! 

Last week, though, David had a colonoscopy (full disclosure) with his surgeon, and he was determined to be ready for his corrective (reconnecting) surgery! We had hoped for February, but the news that it could occur in January was like music to our ears (or more likely, divine intervention!)  Although he was a bit groggy on the way home after the procedure, he called the doctor's office to get on the surgery schedule and that same day, we learned that his surgery has been scheduled for January 24! What a beautiful way to start 2023! 

To those who have cried with us, prayed with us, brought or sent meals to us, or simply thought of us through this journey, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Life doesn't always turn out the way we expect it to, but with faith in the One who makes All things happen, we can each be confident that no matter the outcome, we are NOT alone. God is constant, He is present, and He will not forsake us!