Walking in Uncomfortable Shoes

Pandemic, Coronivirus, COVID-19, shelter-in-place, social distancing…the “I’m tired of hearing this” list goes on. Somewhere between the middle of March and today, however, these have become all-too-familiar terms, and will likely be part of our vocabulary for quite some time to come, I fear.  Actually, fear is probably not the correct term, but whatever you call it, I’m pretty sure they’re each here to stay for a while.

As part of the 65 and over age group, I feel more isolated than ever from my loved ones. My arms ache to hold each of them - children, grandchildren, friends, family, even a few of my co-workers! Haha! There is a longing within me that won’t be eased until the day when I can wrap my arms around each of them. You can bet I'm praying that day comes soon!

Over the past few weeks, I’ve read so many exchanges on social media between various groups in our community about what we should or shouldn’t be doing, and I am terribly disturbed. While I whole-heartedly agree that we cannot continue to stay on lockdown, I believe that each of us has a moral responsibility to do what we can to protect others, and if that means maintaining six-foot distancing, wearing face masks and gloves in public, and limiting travel, then that’s what we – David and I – will continue to do. Those who refuse to observe those basic guidelines are putting the rest of us at risk, and the selfish message that their disregard is sending is mind-boggling! I don’t even pretend to know all that is happening, but my parents raised me to respect others and to always put myself in another’s shoes, even if those shoes are uncomfortable. What a blessing to have been taught that perspective!

Because of my upbringing, I cannot in good conscience ignore those who have been impacted by this pandemic either financially, emotionally, physically, or sadly, through the loss of a loved one. Yes, we've all been impacted in some way, and pretending that we haven't is just absurd, and quite frankly, a bit disgusting. Looking the other way just isn’t in my DNA, and I will do whatever I can for as long as I can to protect my loved ones as well as yours. Won't you try on another's shoes - at least for a while?

PS - My guess is that if you read this, you're already doing your part. I just needed to vent after reading some really troubling social exchanges!

Are We There Yet?

When our children were young, we heard things like, “How much farther?” and “Are we there yet?” every time we got in the car to go somewhere that took longer than about thirty minutes, and we heard them on repeat! Can anyone else relate?

If you answered, “No”, then I’m willing to bet that you are experiencing some of those thoughts now, and if you answered, “Yes”, then I’m equally willing to bet those thoughts have recently re-entered your mind. We are all living in a time of uncertainty. We don’t know how far this new style of daily living will take us, how long it will take, and when we will “get there”, wherever “there” is.

For our family, this isn’t really new territory; I mean, yes, the COVID-19 situation is new to all of us, but the wondering how long or how far a journey will take us isn’t new at all. There have been times when we had no idea what the outcome of a situation would be, but we ALWAYS knew who was in control of that situation! Almost exactly 15 years ago (March 12, 2005), we entered one of the most difficult and faith-testing times we had ever known when one of our twin sons experienced a ruptured brain aneurysm, causing damage that even the most skilled surgeons in Atlanta doubted he would recover from. Although the prognosis was bleak, we knew that God was with us, and that He alone knew the outcome. The circumstances were totally beyond our control. I admit that after the initial shock and fear were over, we went through a period of serious questioning – particularly how could this happen, and why did it happen? Haven’t we all asked that of the current COVID-19 pandemic? At least in some form or another? 

In that period of unrest in 2005, we turned as a family to Lamentations for answers. If anyone understood what lamenting was, we did. Our family wasn’t suffering because of disobedience to the Lord (at least I pray not) as the people of Jerusalem were, but we were definitely suffering. In seeking comfort and hope in the situation, we found it in Lamentations 3: 55-57: 

I called on your name, LORD, from the depths of the pit. You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.” You came near when I called you, and you said, “Do not fear.” 

Because of the assurance from God that even when we are in the depths of despair, He is always near. We didn’t understand what was happening, but we had faith that God knew everything and that He heard our cries. Isn’t it amazing, too, that even though he is not named as the scribe for the book of Lamentations, many scholars believe it to be Jeremiah? And isn’t it wonderful that Jeremiah provided another verse for us to cling to during that dark time and in these? 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

We wholly believed that God heard our cries, and we had the confidence in Him to trust Him with our son’s future, no matter what that meant. Shouldn’t we all be clinging to that kind of faith right now? I’ve seen dark times, and I’ve seen beautiful sunlit days, and through them all, I pray that I ALWAYS find the Lord in them.

So on this journey through COVID-19, let’s all lean in and trust that even when we don’t have a roadmap or GPS, God is in the driver’s seat. When we are tempted to ask the same questions my children asked when they were young, “How much farther?” and “Are we there yet?” let’s do our best to sit back, look out the windows, and enjoy the ride! 

Trust God; He’s an exceptional navigator, and He knows exactly where we’re going and when we’ll get there!

Our son, Jon, and his amazing wife, Zuly
God keeps His promises!

Your Regularly Scheduled Programming Has Been Interrupted to Protect You from COVID-19

3/14/20

So today we officially began our #flattenthecurve staycation. We made a short run (my third) to the church to shop the MB consignment sale, followed by a trip to the grocery store. Not surprising, there weren’t a lot of shoppers at the consignment sale, but somewhat surprising, the store was pretty well stocked. We were able to pick up everything we needed and, of course, a few things we didn’t—pretty normal for us.

Now, the reality - There were no grandsons’ ballgames to watch today and worst of all, no sweaty hugs afterward. Every piece of the laundry has been done, two episodes of “The Story of God” (very interesting) have been watched on Netflix, and now we’re prepping dinner. I’m back in my pjs, writing this post, and still feeling a little sorry for myself over the separation from the grands, BUT today I saw more pictures from the devastation in Nashville, and I wanted to slap myself! Last night I had a major pity party because I am unable to see my grandchildren (and severely limited with seeing my children) during this time, but after seeing those pictures, I now realize how selfish I was being. Do I still feel sad at not seeing my loved ones? I do, but at least I have a roof over my head – unlike some of the families who lost everything in the tornadoes of a few short weeks ago, many losing not only their homes but loved ones as well. Go ahead and slap me for my self-pity…oh never mind, I’ll do it myself!

Better yet - read the "Prayer for a Pandemic" above by Cameron Bellm, a Seattle wife and mom; it helps keep it all in perspective!

3/15/20
Church online is a way to worship that we’ve utilized on occasion, but wow, so different when it’s the only way to “go to church”! This morning, David and I sat in our comfy clothes (yes, I was still in my pjs), sipping coffee, and watching/hearing our senior pastor deliver a truly inspiring message of hope, entitled “Choose Faith over Fear”, in these trying times. Find the message here. One of the most resonating things he said was, “Don’t allow the enemy of your soul to rob you of your faith!” Now, that’s advice we can all take to heart. Let’s not let our fears take away gratitude for our blessings, and when we step back and look at the big picture, we ALL have something to be grateful for, even when we don’t fully understand our circumstances.

COVID 19 – A GrandMary’s Perspective and Warning

I am heartbroken and unbelievably proud at the same time! When did our children become so wise? I mean, I know they are all adults building families of their own but today, more than any other day, I feel old. In my heart, I truly don’t believe that I am, but in my head (and according to my driver’s license and birth certificate) I know that I am now in the “senior” or “older adult” category. Seriously? Like when did that happen?

It happened gradually, and yet it happened overnight. One day you’re tucking your four young children into bed, and before you can hardly blink, you’re tucking your five grandchildren in – yep, five! We are so incredibly blessed to be able to be a part of their lives. We get to attend their baseball games, football games, soccer games, gymnastics classes, and art classes, although thankfully not all at the same time! We have sleepovers, we watch the stars together, we go to the beach together, and sometimes we even get to do it all at the same time! Yes, we are blessed beyond measure!

With the recent shut-downs of our lives as we know them, however—no baseball and soccer, no gymnastics, no school, no physical church, no toilet paper (I digress)—and increasing concern for us “older adults”, our lives have taken a turn we never anticipated. In a single day, we became “at risk”. Our children, out of genuine love and concern for us, cancelled the two sleepovers we had planned for this weekend, one tonight with our Clark boys, and one tomorrow night with our Clark girls. (The Popes in Tennessee have already had their plates full with a tornado last week, warnings of another last night, overall devastation in their community and surrounding area, and now THIS? Again, I digress.)

Knowing that our children love us enough to put our health and well-being above their own plans for the weekend fills me with undeniable pride. It also fills me with the realization that they, too, understand our mortality. Ugh! I TOTALLY feel like I’m still in my 40’s…okay 50’s? The reality of life and its imposed limitations have really gotten to me today. So to my children, I say, “You are simply the best, and I love you with all of my being, no matter how old it is!”; to my grandchildren, I say, “No one loves you like your GrandMary and GrandDaddy!”. To the Coronavirus, I say, “Stay out of my way, and let me resume the life I love with my family”!

2 Timothy 1:7 ~ For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Hope and an Amazing Future

Today we are celebrating the fourteenth year since our son, Jon, began his journey back to us after collapsing from a ruptured brain aneurysm. To us, this is an occasion to be remembered and celebrated because of the grace and mercy shown to us by our sovereign God. It is also a day in which we are reminded that life is fragile and we are not promised tomorrow, but we ARE promised that no matter what comes our way, we will not be forsaken and that our God will comfort us in the darkness as well as in the light.

For those who have followed our journey, we celebrate you, too, knowing that without your love, prayers, and support, the outcome of March 12, 2005, could have been far different and instead of celebrating this day, we could easily be mourning. I know there are many who have traveled a similar path with a far different outcome; for those, I mourn with you. I KNOW we are among the fortunate ones because our son was spared when the odds were totally against him.

So today, we are grateful beyond words to the medical team who saved his life, to the rehabilitation team who taught him how to live again, and to the prayer warriors, some friends, some total strangers, who joined the vigil in praying each of us through this unimaginable journey. Today, we look continually toward a bright future for Jon when at several points, we weren't sure what to even begin to expect. He has overcome so many obstacles and achieved far more in his 34 years of life than we were initially afraid to even dream he could do. He met a woman who as he told me, "saw beyond his disabilities" and who loves him unconditionally. She has been the answer to one of our greatest prayers for him, that one day he would meet someone who would love him just as he is and share his future with him. We stand in awe of our God who chose Jon (and now his precious wife, Zuly) as one(s) to live out the promise of Jeremiah 29:11. He has remained true to that promise - to give each of us hope and a future - through Jon and through us.

We live life a bit differently these days, having learned that there are no guarantees in this life, but standing firm in the promise of the next. God's providence has far exceeded any of the prayers we've prayed for Jon; for that, we will never be able to thank Him enough. But every single day, we will try.

Don't Forget to Pack your Tambourine!

Planning a little trip? Remember to take enough clothes, shoes, undergarments, outerwear, toiletries, and of course, money to cover the days you’ll be away. Oh, and one more thing, pack your tambourine!

Say what? Yep, that noise maker defined by Wikipedia as “a musical instrument in the percussion family consisting of a frame, often of wood or plastic, with pairs of small metal jingles, called zils”. Why on God’s green earth would I tell you to pack a tambourine? THAT is exactly why! Huh? Let me elaborate.

In our staff chapel today—oh, what a privilege it is to be part of a church staff—we explored Exodus 14 when Pharoah FINALLY let the Israelites go, only to have serious second thoughts and soon send his army in pursuit of the Israelites to bring them back to Egypt (I mean, what was Pharoah thinking? No laborers?). We reviewed that after escaping Pharoah’s army through the Red Sea, Moses sang praises to the Lord (Exodus 15) as we often do after a trying time. But what did Moses’ sister, Miriam, do? When Moses began singing praises, she followed behind with the other women singing and shaking her tambourine! She brought a tambourine? Seriously? In the rush to get out of Egypt, she actually brought a tambourine? Far be it from me to question her packing list, but I’m thinking that a tambourine probably wouldn’t have made the top five on my list of “must takes”.

What does packing a tambourine even mean? I think it means to KNOW that God is ALWAYS worthy of our praise and that we are to be “on the ready” to share our joys and our rejoicing. A tambourine doesn’t have to be a physical object; it can simply be a desire to share our love for the Lord and all the ways we’ve seen His glory in our lives.

So how often lately have I actually taken out my tambourine in praise of the One who gave it all? When my first two children, Taylor and Blair, were born healthy, I thanked God and praised Him for my beautiful blessings. When my son, Jeff, was born with two holes in his heart and the surgeons repaired both, I praised God and shook my tambourine. When his twin brother, Jon, suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm years later and became a walking miracle, I shook my tambourine until I thought my fingers would break. In fact, each time he reached a new milestone and we witnessed another miracle, my entire family and our friends joined in with their tambourines. When the doctors discovered an aneurysm in my brain and repaired it before it could rupture, I wept, and through my tears, I shook my tambourine. Lately, though, I think my tambourine has been a little silent, and it has nothing to do with Him, but everything to do with me.

I know that I have been blessed far more than I deserve, and I’ve seen more miracles than most people, so I need to daily shake that tambourine and let His love shine through me so that the world will know that I am His and He is mine, and NOTHING can ever change that. Miriam trusted that He would deliver and packed her tambourine; I think it's time for me to blow the dust off mine.

Exodus 15: 2

The Lord is my strength and my defense;

 He has become my salvation.

He is my God, and I will praise him,

    my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

(Inspiration for this post from Gaylyn Kelly, our Director of College and Young Adults)

Isn't It Grandparents' Day Every Day?

I received a message yesterday from my precious niece, Beth, saying, "Hope you guys are having a good grandparents day!" Ha! I didn't even know it WAS Grandparents' Day! Every single day I get to spend with any or all of our three grandblessings is indeed GRAND! (And no, I didn't spend yesterday with any of them.)

When I saw this quote on Facebook the other day, however, I just had to share it because it embodies so much of what being a grandparent is like:

Being a GrandMary to our three (soon to be four) is definitely among the greatest blessings God has ever bestowed upon me, and I truly can't imagine not having any of them in my life. I absolutely love having sleepovers, making cookies, doing art projects, planting flowers, going to baseball, soccer, and football games (maybe one day, dance recitals or gymnastics meets) you name it--I love it any time it involves any of them! I'm one of those who truly believes that having them around keeps me young (okay, don't look too closely at the lines around my eyes).

Just take a look at these pics and you'll see why I consider these children of my children some of the best gifts that this life has to offer. 

"Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation.”

– Lois Wyse

I owe a HUGE "Thank You" to the mamas of these treasures! We wouldn't have these precious ones without you; never forget how very loved and appreciated you are.

Am I an obnoxious grandmother? I hope not, but when it comes to these precious ones, I certainly don't mind sharing my joy. If that's obnoxious, then I guess I am, but I don't see myself changing any time in the future!

“Grandchildren give us a second chance to do things better because they bring out the best in us.”

– Unknown